Know That Suffering is Inevitable
Buddha’s First Noble Truth is that suffering, unsatisfactoriness and stress are part of life and long-term relationships. Although this might sound depressing, if you really take this on board, your tolerance of inevitable bad times will be greater. The good news in Buddha’s Third Noble Truth: suffering can end the moment we let go of our attachment to things being a certain way. The starting point of doing this is simply bringing what Buddha called “bare attention”——observation without judgement–to our unpeasant thoughts and feelings, and to do this with an attitude of compassion and kindness towards ourselves.The aim isn’t to make unpleasantness go away but to stop struggling against it while it’s there.
What To Do
Understand that all couples of relationships, even ones that look perfect from the outside, will have periods of great difficulty. When an unpleasant thought or feeling about your partner arises, notice it and refrain from judging it.